Tonight we had a heartbreaking experience in our home and I realized something…

Our dog Bear, a beautiful and sweet girl, was hit by a car and died. I let her out in our back yard to go to the bathroom after I had fed her. After about 15 minutes the normal amount of time she usually likes to go out after this feeding to do her business I went to the back door and called for her. I was tired and wanted to have an early night and so I wanted to get her in her crate for the night and head to bed myself. I called, she didn’t come, so I went around to the front of the house and it was then that I heard a car door slam and a lady scream there were some kids out by the road and everyone seemed to be upset…then I saw something lying on the ground. I ran out there and it was our beautiful sweet Bear. The poor lady was heartbroken, she kept apologizing I hugged her not really even thinking about anything else…she had white hair like my mom and my heart hurt for her, but all the while I was looking at my dog that was sleeping so peacefully.

I picked-up Bear’s lifeless body and placed her in a bag and then carried her back to the house.

Telling my boys was the hardest part. Although Bear was only with us about 6 months I knew their hearts would break. Dayton and Landon were distraught Levi didn’t shed a tear at first his lower lip quivered and he just kept saying, “Daddy tell Jesus to make her alive! Daddy tell Jesus to make her come alive!” When Levi did see her in the bag though the tears broke loose, Bear truly was his best buddy.

I know this is a morbid tale, but I can’t sleep and I need to process it out.

I have often times joked in front of my church to pray for me because I don’t know what I was thinking getting a dog. Or I would joke about how I wanted to get rid of her, Christina and I would say to everyone that said she was cute, “Do you want her? You can have her!” We acted like we meant it, now we are both just so sad…And though I wouldn’t call us dog people…I would say this, I’ve lost cats before and been sad…but there is definitely something much different about losing a dog.

I still don’t know what I was thinking getting a dog and now I hate to think of what it will be like to not have Bear!

I will never again say to a dog person, “It is just a dog.”