A verse that has come to mean a great deal to me and there is another verse similar to it later in the Psalms (Psalm 90:12) is Psalm 39:4 and then I appreciate the subsequent two verses that tie into it as well. But of particular blessing to me that I believe has helped me is verse 4,

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end
    and the number of my days;
    let me know how fleeting my life is.”

It may cause wonder why a text like that is helpful to me and has helped my ministry. Maybe the following will explain…

Possibly because in my career I am often around death, I was just at a funeral today; possibly it is the melancholy in me, but I don’t see the span of my life as long. I don’t expect to die soon by any means, I am only 38…I say only, even though 38 seemed very old not so many years ago…but I am only 38, yet in spite of that I don’t view life or my life at least as a long expanse, I don’t see that I have that much time, I see my days or the days I have left “as a mere handbreadth.” (v. 5a)

I also look upon my life the totality of those 38 years and I see a lot of waste. Many years spent in absolute sin…and still to this day I see far too many moments wasted in sinful living and I know that is time I’ve lost, I am losing that belongs to God.

Therefore with these two thoughts in mind, I’ve found that this text (Ps. 39:4) and Psalm 90:12,

“Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” 

or as I like to think of it based on the song lyric…

“Teach me to count my days, teach me to make my days count.”

affirm that I only have a short life to live for Jesus. I only have this span of time to make a difference for Him and then I am gone.

Within a generation or so no one will remember me. No books will be written about me. My name won’t be in the church annals of history.

The only legacy I will have is the people I played a small role in helping to fall in love with Jesus and their names written in the Lambs Book of Life and because I don’t see my life as long and I view life as very fragile and because I was careless with so many years and so many minutes these texts are special to me because they remind to drive, to push, to strive, to dream, to work, to talk, to share, to prod, to demand excellence in ministry from myself and my team, because I only have a short span to serve Jesus and then I’m done.

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end
    and the number of my days;
    let me know how fleeting my life is.”

I will share something with you, in my quiet time sometimes when I am alone and no one else is around (of course it happens sometimes when everyone is around in church during a hymn or something) I may hear a song about the love of Jesus, or I’ll read a scripture about Jesus’ love, or the Holy Spirit will just speak to my heart of His love through the stillness or through the love of one of my boys, or through a memory I’ll recall and I start to cry…I cry first because I am so grateful for Jesus’ love, but honestly I cry just as much because I’m worried, I’m worried that I have not done enough, not in regards to my own salvation, I trust that I am “saved by grace through faith”, but I cry because I am worried that I have not done enough to reach others.

I think of my uncle who I love so much and I think of my friend who died last year. I think of my close friends that are living now. I think of the young men I’m coaching in baseball. I think of the people I ruined my witness to because of my sin. I was overzealous and drove them away or I was lazy and didn’t follow through, and I cry, because I don’t know if I’ve done or did everything I could to introduce them to Jesus.

This text, coupled with my melancholy self reminds me that my life is fleeting and I only have yea long to be a witness and that knowledge drives me to never settle for status quo in my personal witness or in the ministry sphere I have influence on.

So if you wondered why I would say this text has been a blessing to me and has helped me in my ministry, that is how this text has helped me. And maybe some of you that get annoyed or wonder about my obsession with evangelism will understand it better now.

Well that was more than I planned on writing but there you go 🙂

Tomorrow’s Reading: Job 27 & 28