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Sometimes You Have to Ask More Than Once to Get to “Yes”
I have been married for 11 1/2 years, I would have never even made it to the wedding day though if I had not been persistent.
In the fall of 2000 I called Christina up on the phone and asked her if she would like to go out on a date with me and a few other friends of mine. It was going to be a double or triple date, I don’t remember exactly now; Christina’s answer, I do remember this exactly, “I’m sorry I can’t. I have a big test coming-up and I’ve committed to studying tonight.” Not aware at the time of Christina’s extreme commitment to graduate Summa Cum Laude all three times she graduated (yes you read that correctly) I saw this as a classic brush off.
In the winter of 2001 some friends were having a bonfire, my college Mom Kathy said, “you should bring,” and she named a girl…I said, “no I’m not really that into her, but I know who I’ll invite,” and I ran upstairs grabbed the Joker (Southern’s student directory) looked-up Christina’s room number and gave her call, Christina’s answer, “I’m sorry I’ve already made plans to hang-out with my roommate.” Again to me a classic brush-off.
Spring of 2001 I see Christina walking on the road in front of the gymnasium as I drive by, I swing my car around (I had been going in the opposite direction) roll down my window and ask,
“Hey do you need a ride?”
Christina answers, “I’m not going far.”
“That’s okay get in I’ll take you.” So Christina got in the car and I ask, “Where are you going?”
She pointed across the street…So I drive her 100 yards across the street…and that is the beginning of it all because…
A few weeks later after a Saturday night concert on campus Christina asked me if I wanted to go hang-out with some of her friends…I was less studious and more than willing to cast aside any plans I had with friends, so I said, “Sure I’ll go.”
I am fully convinced Christina would have never asked me that night to go and hang-out with her friends, if I had not asked her out twice and flipped a U to pick her up and drive her 100 yards across the street.
Persistence.
I wish more of us Christians had persistence! I believe if we did Jesus would have a lot more names written in The Book of Life. Each one of us should be consistently, persistently inviting people to our church, to study the Bible with us, to hang-out for the purpose of witnessing and serving these individuals, to pray with us or us for them, but many of us stop at the first “No.”
And not only do we stop at the first, “No” with that individual we often times let that one “No” stop us from also engaging any other individuals ever again.
In witnessing “No” is going to be more frequent than “yes,” but persistence pays off.
It paid off in my love life and I have seen it time and time again pay off in witnessing.
In fact last week an individual I have been developing a friendship with and inviting to connect with for more than 5 months called me and left the following message on my phone, “Hi Chad this is _______ I was wondering if you would still be willing to meet and study with me and my wife?”
What do you think my answer was?
Christians be persistent! Sometimes you have to ask more than once to get to “yes.”
I Miss My Friend!
I have a photo album, and on the inside cover of that album I wrote:
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)…I have four of them.”
And throughout the album are dozens and dozens (we’ve probably taken hundreds) of pictures just like this one:
That there will never be another photo of us five added to this album…breaks my heart!
21 years of the five of us. 21 years equals thousands of memories.
Today Scotty thought of a hand on his knee and remembered Chris, Greg thought of his bunny rabbit and remembered Chris, Aaron thought of a goat and remembered Chris, and I thought of bathtub cleaner and remembered Chris.
Chris made all these things funny and lasting memories. Who else can do that?
21 years equals thousands of memories…and there won’t be any more made with ALL The Ohio Boys…and my heart just can’t handle that yet.
Yesterday one of The Boys was tragically lost and thousands of memories that will one day bring me comfort, at this moment just leave me reeling.
There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother…I lost one…
8 Random Things I’m Looking Forward to In Our Move to Maryland
In the midst of the sadness of leaving California I am I’ve decided to focus on some of the random things I am really looking forward to about moving to Maryland. I do this, not to avoid my sadness, but as a reminder that there a little positives even in the most challenging of times.
So here are five realities that I am really looking forward to in our move to Maryland (these are completely unrelated to my new pastor position):
- Sleeping in my own king size bed. I know this is a first world problem and really quite superficial, but our bed has been in Maryland since November and I won’t lie, I miss it a lot!
- A return to running. My friend Rich from Academy is a superb runner and he has already committed himself to my wife and others to get me back into shape. His running skills and commitment to running are a motivation. So is losing weight…though after seeing the temps out there during the winter I may be tempted to keep the extra pounds on. 🙂 Just kidding Christina! I look forward to being able to lay down some serious miles again. Please pray, for no injuries!
- Ice baths. Yep you read that right! Ice baths. After a good long run I really like soaking in a great ice bath. Over the last 5 years+ we haven’t lived in a house with a bath tub, and I’ve sorta missed warm baths, but I’ve really missed ice baths. It hurts for the moment, but I always feel so much better after a run when I’ve taken an ice bath; so the hurt is worth it! Anyway, in our new house we have several bath tubs, so the ice baths will return.
- Eating in the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventist’s headquarter cafeteria. I recently had the privilege of eating there and it truly was a privilege. One of the things I loved about college was the cafeteria, and being at the GC cafe was like a return to college, probably a little healthier, but the variety was great and so was the food!
- Museums, museums, museums. I love museums! And most of them are free!
- Lots of baseball stadiums in close proximity. My sons and I are going to love a day trip here and there to watch different teams play, along with some regular visits to the local teams (The Nationals and Orioles).
- History! Oh I love history. Battlefields, memorials, Boston, DC, New York, South Carolina, Richmond, etc., etc. If you love history come visit and we’ll go on a history tour together.
- Politics. I’ll admit it I am not at all bothered by being so near the thick of political action. My plan was to be a history major, become a lawyer, enter politics, move to DC and never leave. Well, God had other plans, of which I am grateful, but I still have my not so closeted love of political activity. I won’t discuss it with you anymore, but privately I will read and follow to my hearts content!
Yes, my heart is broken leaving California. When I moved here six years ago I truly thought I would never leave. But God’s will is perfect and His ways are always right so I trust Him and choose to look at all the positives including the little ones I mentioned above.
California I love you! Maryland I will love you too!
Thank You Central California Conference
In my last hours of my last day as a Pastor serving at the pleasure of The Central California Conference,
The Visalia Seventh-day Adventist Church, and The Ark Community Church
Thank you!
I love you!
I will miss you!
More Than a Voice!
For the past 12 years I’ve had the privilege of working for The Seventh-day Adventist denomination. My prayer is that I continue to work for them until Jesus comes back or I die, whichever comes first. I truly love this global community of faith; that said there are occasions that I become flummoxed by some of the things I am seeing and hearing within my church.
Recently I’ve been reading the biography of J.N. Loughborough by Dr. Brian Strayer. I have thoroughly enjoyed the read, it might be my favorite of the Adventist Pioneer Series thus far.
As I’ve read almost two-thirds of the book however I have found myself getting sideways on an issue…
The lack of inclusion of young adults at the highest levels of leadership within our church!
I have heard, ever since I accepted Jesus and started hanging-out around Seventh-day Adventist leaders the statement, “We need to make sure our young people have a voice within their church.”
Here is what I would say to how well that has gone: if young people truly had a voice in this church, a voice that anyone was listening to, a voice with a vote, then there would be a more diverse spectrum of ages amongst our church leadership at every level.
As it stands now though, at the highest level of leadership, The General Conference, there are currently no administrators under the age of 50…and I would venture to guess that there are not even any under the age of 60, if any of you are I apologize :). But it is not just at the General Conference level, The North American Division has the same problem; we have some leadership in their 50’s, but no one at a significant leadership level is below the age of 50 to my knowledge. The same is true within our Union leadership.
I got sideways as I was reading the Loughborough biography because I am reading stories about young adults that are in great positions of influence within our church…oh and when I say young adult, I’m not talking about 40’s and 50’s, I’m talking about 20’s and 30’s, even a few in their late teens. Presidents, GC executive committee members, top theologians, General Conference sent evangelists.
Reading these stories makes me so proud of our early church and so disappointed with our current church.
Young in leadership is just something that is not seen anymore…
Something that is not even given a chance to be seen or experienced at any level other than the local church and maybe, just maybe a local conference or two, at least here in the United States.
There is much talk about giving the young a voice, but folk the young need more than a voice they need to be in on the decision making process, they need at times to be the actual decision makers.
Let me ask what I believe is a very logical question: If the church is trying to figure out ways to retain the youth and young adults of our church would it not make sense for the young to be deciding what actions are going to be taken to reach & retain those demographics? Every successful business in the world has figured this out, why can’t the church?
Hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that we should put those of the older ilk out to pasture. We are a multi-generational church, so we should have multi-generational leadership…AT EVERY LEVEL!
People like Pastor Rodlie Ortiz should be sitting at any table at the highest levels of this church that are visioning and strategizing for church growth, if you don’t believe me ask Pastor Dwight Nelson. Pastor Anthony Wagenersmith I believe would be an asset to the Biblical Research Institute. He has a brilliant theological mind, before we were even out of seminary he was a grad assistant that was delivering lectures to other graduate students. Gina Creek, is a gifted writer, that writes in a unique voice; she should be at the Adventist Review or Signs of the Times or writing copy for The GC. Pastor Taj Pacleb is one of the most gifted traditional evangelists I’ve ever heard, why aren’t we tapping him for global evangelistic events or media posts? Pastor Benjamin Lundquist is in my opinion the most innovative youth and young adult leader out there right now. Every youth and young adult leader should spend time with him. These are just a few, the list could go on and on!
My point is the young adults are out there, out there ready to lead at the highest levels. Just like they were in the first 50 years of our church.
But their church isn’t inviting them to even consider such a step.
Their church, our church, my church just keeps talking about giving them a voice…
but what good are their voices if they are not being heard in the rooms making the decisions?
If their voices don’t actually have a vote when the decisions are made?
Please church that I love, be a church that truly represents ALL of us! Give us more than a voice!
Do This ONE Thing To Grow Your Church
It is hard to reduce church growth down to one thing. In fact it probably should almost never be done; but in this post I am going to do just that…
I want to give y’all just one method to grow your church.
Yes it will grow MORE with many other things involved.
It will of course grow MORE if prayer is the driving force behind all the things you do.
Your church will grow MORE if it is a healthy church…
If the music is inspiring…
The Preaching is alive and Biblical…
If there are friendly greeters…
But I am not talking about MORE growth…
just SOME growth!
And so for that I want to give the ONE thing that you can do, that every church member can do to grow their church.
INVITE!
Yep, invite!
Maybe the saddest reality about the lack of church growth in North America is that every church could grow but most aren’t and the primary reason…
NO ONE is inviting folk to come visit their church.
This is truth!
Thom Rainer reports that in their research of the unchurched 45% of all unchurched would say “NO” if someone they knew invited them to church. 5% said they would probably be hostile in their rejection of the invitation.
Wait a second…
Do you see what that means?
It means, 55% of all unchurched people would respond positively to an invitation to church by someone they knew…and guess what? They don’t even have to know the invitee well!
55% indicated they would still respond positively even if the invitee was just an acquaintance! WOW!
We spend time focusing on the 45% that would say, “NO” and more than likely we’re scared to run into one of the 5% percent that have a burr in their saddle…yep I just used that idiom like the old man I’m becoming…
But we should be spending time focusing on the 55% that would say “yes!”
Picture a church of 100 members.
If each of those members invited one person per week that would be 5,200 invitations in a year.
Now applying Thom Rainer’s research we would surmise that 55% of those invitees would accept the invitation and attend church at least once.
That means a church of 100 members inviting 100 people each week by the end of a given year would have 2,860 guests pass through the doors of their church. Not only that but 55 new people would be in church every single week! Can you imagine how exciting that would be to have 55 NEW people worshiping with you each and every week? That would be awesome in a church of 200 or 300, much less 100!
Now I want y’all to pause and think about a couple other statistics very quickly. These statistics come from Pastor Nelson Searcy.
The average church loses 3 members per 100 members each year due to death, a move, apostasy, or just becoming inactive.
So let us go back up to our church of 100 members; in order for that church to maintain it’s membership of 100 people all they would have to do to not decline is win the hearts of 3 of those 2,860 guests that attended their church in a given year.
3 FOLK!
I didn’t say 300 or 30 or even 13…just 3! (Contact me on Twitter @chadnstuart and I’ll share with you just a couple things that you can try at your church to turn three guests into members).
But this blog post isn’t about maintaining, although that would be a huge step for many of our churches since 80% of all our churches are plateaued or declining, no this blog is about growth.
So let me share with you how many guests you need to retain in order to grow your church at a steady pace.
Are you ready for this huge number?
5 per 100 members.
So in a church of 100 members, if every member is inviting 1 person per week, roughly 2,860 of those invitees would become a guest at that church, and if that church retained FIVE individuals per year they would grow at a steady pace.
Because the next year 102 people would be inviting 1 person per week (remember there is an average of 3 members lost per 100 a year) and that means 2,917 people would attend the church as a guest (based on Rainer’s 55% percent rule of thumb) and with more guests there would be more chances of guests becoming members…and so the next year if 5 more joined, the membership would now be up to 104 and 2,974 guests would attend…
And maybe within a few years, because everyone wants to be a part of a growing church your church would start retaining 7 guests or more a year and then your church, believe it or not, with just the retention of 7 guests a year would be considered a rapidly growing church in North America.
So will you make a commitment right now? Will you commit to help grow your church? It takes just ONE thing…
The ONE thing: Love Jesus enough to invite someone to come hear about Him at your church just one time per week!